I was the perfect parent before I had kids. I judged all of my friends for their weak parenting skills. I was an expert on Sleeping, Feeding and Discipline! It all seemed so obviously easy until I had a child of my own. The idea that this little person would have a mind of her own and completely ware me out to the point of complete and utter compliance seemed impossible. Well, to all those parents that I have judged in the past let's just say Pay Back is a Bitch....and I have been paying!
I pay with the constant judgemental looks from others when they see my daughter's belly hang over her pants, riding in a stroller, and my favorite a 5 year old screaming at the top of her lungs (like a 2 year old) because I have pushed her past the point of no return. I can just imagine what they are thinking because I, at some point would have thought the same thing.
I wish we could post a sign that says "STOP JUDGING ME MY DAUGHTER HAS HYPOTONIA!". That wouldn't really help because no one even knows what it is and most people that even understand what it is don't understand the full impact on each child who has it. Is it wrong to wish that outwardly my daughter looks like she had a disability? Yes! My goal for my daughter is to live a happy productive life and let's face it that's hard no matter how "normal" (I don't think there really is such a thing as "normal") your child may be. Life is hard and everyone has a crutch to bare whether it is visible by others or hidden.
So I will take my punishment and hope my daughter doesn't bear the brunt of my judgemental thoughts. I no longer judge any parent (I have moved onto single people that get to sleep through the night : ) ) because I now no that ever child comes with their own set of challenges and we are all doing the best we can. I also know that how I handle raising a daughter with Hypotonia will impact how she handles herself. So I will have a positive attitude and push her in the stroller with a big smile on my face!
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